The past week has been crazy, I found out that the woman who was nearly my grandma died last week, so this threw me mentally. Physically I am fine, and I have continued with my planed program with food & exercise, Mentally well.... you might know... losing a loved one SUCKS big time. Pom is my step fathers mother, and I have known her since I was 12, she welcomed me into her family & her heart as if I was really her grandchild.
It is hard, I want to be REALLY upset, but part of me feels like I have to be strong. I am a cry’er from way back, I hate any confrontation and I cry at any given issue.... it is not a good trait, and one that I struggle to control (particularly in workplace performance conversations, or tense discussions with people).
I am not sure how I will get through the funeral, I know I will cry – but it is ok, I am allowed to grieve... what I don’t know how to deal with is missing the monthly phone calls with this lady, or the short visits for coffee when I was in Sydney. I know that at times I hated having to visit, it was boring, and I really didn’t care to hear what she said at times, but you know now looking back I value each and every interaction I had with Pom.
I have mentioned my amazing mother a few times, but it is because of her that I have such close relationships with my family. She is the one that reminded me to visit, that reminded me to call & simply say hello... all those 10 minute phone calls whilst I was driving home from work meant so much to Pom, and now also to me... I will miss making them.
Pom was an amazing woman, a state netballer in her youth, mother of 3, grandmother to 1 (well and me!) and beloved wife of over 50 years.
I will miss her........